Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
