before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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