Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
