I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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