I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
