i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
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To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
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Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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