I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
