I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
