So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
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How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
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Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.