Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
