so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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