Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.

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  (510): I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete. http://tfl.nu/ez0g
  Replies (13) Good night (8636) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her

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  (706): I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee (704): Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her http://tfl.nu/95cd
  Replies (23) Good night (4495) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.

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  (847): Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot. http://tfl.nu/nyh6
  Replies (41) Good night (4524) Bad night (864)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.

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  (804): Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009. http://tfl.nu/yk6t
  Replies (49) Good night (5626) Bad night (1271)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas

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  (907): the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas http://tfl.nu/bksv
  Replies (42) Good night (4661) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.

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  (419): You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out. http://tfl.nu/n9rj
  Replies (17) Good night (6014) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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  (404): I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway. http://tfl.nu/geao
  Replies (10) Good night (2464) Bad night (3593)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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  (412): She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan" http://tfl.nu/9he5
  Replies (15) Good night (1081) Bad night (4356)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.

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  (307): this is worse than the time i threw up a condom. http://tfl.nu/98sx
  Replies (15) Good night (808) Bad night (4878)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2234) Bad night (605)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.

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  (772): I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do. http://tfl.nu/7vxu
  Replies (23) Good night (2754) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.

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  (479): Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine. http://tfl.nu/rrcc
  Replies (3) Good night (1829) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection

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  (954): aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection http://tfl.nu/vqm1
  Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  I feel like you just railed me after that sext

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  (216): I feel like you just railed me after that sext http://tfl.nu/hgfe
  Replies (8) Good night (1225) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.

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  (301): by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can. http://tfl.nu/1yox
  Replies (4) Good night (563) Bad night (296)

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