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• (754): View more from Florida

  you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  our poor poor cab driver

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.

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• (315): View more from New York

  we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far

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• (210): View more from Texas

  If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window

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• (386): View more from Florida

  New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.

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