i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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