I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
