quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
