My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
