The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's never too late to be topless.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
