The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
