I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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