he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my shit smells like andre
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
