so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
