i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The struggles of a small town man whore
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
