I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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