D3 body, D1 cock
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
