I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The struggles of a small town man whore
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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