I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
