id be glad to
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
