I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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