Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
