Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
