i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
