So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
