HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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