I wish I could teleport
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
