she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
