...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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