I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
