so that wasnt chicken after all
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
