I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
your like the ambassador to my penis.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
