Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
