mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
