But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
