If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
