we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
