sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
