dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
