If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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