I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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