omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
