So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize