I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
