no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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