I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
