And the cops told us we were all naked.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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