I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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