Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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