its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
