I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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