I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
