Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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