he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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