I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize