Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
it's great music for shaving your balls
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
