i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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