My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Everclear isn't food dammit
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
