This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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