you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
